Are You Filled?



My Pastor has been talking about this for a couple weeks now, and I thought I’d share his key points, as well as some of mine with you all! Enjoy!


Raise your hand if you’ve had a failed relationship. (In case you’re wondering, I have both of my hands up.) Now, raise your hand if you’ve been up at night prying your brain for answers as to why they don’t work out.

I’ve had a few serious relationships. This time last year, I was moving in with my boyfriend at the time. We had been dating for about 8 months. I was leaving our hometown to transfer to a 4 year University, and he wanted to come. Long story short, playing house wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. We hated each other with burning passions and couldn’t communicate with each other. We both had our own baggage we claimed, which in turn created certain areas of ourselves to be empty. These areas we thought each other could fill. 

This was our problem. We were looking to each other to fill our needs. Which is completely unfair. How dare we put that pressure on each other, knowing that we could never fill each others loneliness, heartache, and insecurities. We would give everything to each other but it would never be enough. But why? Why were we not enough to make each other whole? It was because we didn’t let God fill us.

Let me ask you a question: Have you let God fill up? Have you let Him sufficiently heal your wounds? See we all have baggage, that’s just life. But do we let our baggage hold us down, hold us back? Do we let our baggage consume us to to the point where we ruin our relationships? I know I used to. I was looking for people to come and claim my baggage for me. To heal the hurt. Truth is, no one can. Only God can. The best part? He already knows your hurt before you even do- He’s expecting it and is more than willing to extend His grace to you and heal you…if you let Him. 

First things first, you have to accept Jesus Christ in your life as your savior for this to work. Because it isn’t a matter of if He will heal you, it’s a matter of you letting him. If you have not accepted Him as your savior, all you’ll be able to hear from Him is messages of salvation. But once you accept Him, you can start listening and allowing Him to make you whole. 

In fact, He even tells us that He’s going to heal us! Take Jeremiah 30 (17) ,“I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,’ declares the LORD”. 

2 Peter 1 (3) states, “His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.”

Once we are sufficiently healed, we can head into relationships not needing anything. If we do not, we will suck the life out of the other person. They will be trying to make us happy but they never can. No one person can make us truly whole and happy. Instead, we can go into a relationship and be able to truly give ourselves to the other person without needing something in return. Of course, we want a relationship where the other person will give back just as much as you give. But the point is, you aren’t looking to each other to fill each other up- God has already done that. This will create honest relationships that will last. 

This will also keep our focus on God. When we rely on someone else to make us whole, we begin to worship that person when we should be worshiping God. If that person were to leave us, they would take the part of us that we asked them to heal. This will rock our world. This is what happened to me time after time. This is where I spent hours on my knees in tears asking God why can’t he just make one relationship work? We would never be able to move forward. 

Starting today, are you going to let Him heal you? Will you take an honest look at yourself and evaluate your relationships? Instead of looking for the one, let’s start working on being the one for someone else. Let God come into your heart and heal you. Let Him complete you. 

God Bless! 




I’m a Jesus Advocate…

I’m a Jesus advocate. When I said in my introduction that I’m a nondenominational Christian, I felt the need to say “that loves Jesus”. If you’ve ever watched or read works by Jeffrey Bethke, you’ll understand why I shy away from “religion” and the statement that I’m a Christian. When I first saw his video on YouTube, I felt as if there was finally someone out there who understood me…but that’s besides the point.

I say I’m nondenominational because I don’t believe that there should be dominations in Christianity. I mean, the core of our beliefs are the same, why must we separate? I feel as this is where we loose Jesus, and this is where corruption in church’s happen. This is where churches play politics and do one, if not more, of three things. They A) take scripture so extreme and out on context they make rules. (Think of Footloose!) B) They become so focused on their traditions that they loose their relationship with Christ or C) They play politics with the ministry and its a fight to be the best.

Which brings me to a story. I know someone who completely left the church they were raised in. I mean, completely left. Moved hundreds of miles away from their family because they were so tired of how their church, and in turn their family, was functioning. There was corruption every where they looked; in the ministry and in the families attending. This is turn led to a distant, almost non-existent relationship with God. There was so much booze, sex, drugs and hatred in her life. Then, Jesus found her again, as He had before. He didn’t give up on her.

If you know me personally and are reading this blog, you’re about to hear some truths that have never left my mouth. Not even my parents, the closest people to me in my life, know these things. I’ve lived a very good part of my life masking many feelings, like many of us do. If you are a stranger, I feel blessed that you are reading.

I’ve battled and am still battling depression. I’ve had an alcohol problem. I’ve had suicidal thoughts. But that’s how Jesus found me. He found me this last at the bottom of a bottle on a lonely early Sunday morning in my apartment while Joel Osteen was on the television. That night I thought to myself, “well…God hasn’t let me die yet. I don’t think I could feel any more worthless. This alcohol is making me gain so much weight. I guess I could try and see what He can do for me this time around”. Thats my pattern. I would let Him in, then run away. I would do this time and time again. But He found me time and time again. No matter what, He loved me and chased after me.


Lets go back to the beginning: I’m a Jesus advocate. After all, my blog is called “After the Heart of Jesus”. I advocate for Jesus because of how he has personally touched my life. And I believe that He can do so much in yours. Many of us think, “well if God was there for me bad things wouldn’t happen”. But God never promised us there would be no evil. He promised he would see us through, guide us, and never leave our sides.

See, God searches for man. It isn’t the other way around. When He sees broken people, He wants to heal them. Remember, God hugs people individually. He loves us individually. The love between us and God is unique and one of a kind. It is up to us to let Him love us.


On a real note, if you or someone you know is battling any depression or suicidal thoughts, please talk to them. If they don’t want you to talk, try just listening. There is the National Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255 and someone is always available.

And as always, God Bless.


Rhinos, Unicorns, Evolution, Gay Marriage, and Scripture

The Discerning Christian

Author: Jonathunder; used under GNU Free Documentation License. Author: Jonathunder; used under GNU Free Documentation License.

The odd collection of nouns in the title are related. I promise. Roll with the idea and examine a few related scenarios. If you’ll track with me, I hope you’ll see some inconsistent ways in which we use our reason when religion, especially our interpretation of Scripture, gets involved. In most cases, we apply our reasoning freely — unless we have prior commitments, which cause us to set aside otherwise-sound conclusions in favor of sticking to our guns.

Suppose it is 300 years ago, and there is a European expedition heading into Africa. It has been several centuries, if not longer, since Europeans have ventured beyond the African cities on the Mediterranean coastline. No one quite knows what all lives in the interior of the continent, so this group of explorers sets out to learn about this mysterious land. As…

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And in the Beginning…

Can I tell you a story? I’m sure it’s one you’ve heard before.
See I was the girl who thought she was broken, but not anymore.

Let’s get this straight- I am a young white woman who hasn’t had all the struggles the world can throw at her. I was born into a middle-class family and I still sometimes rely on my parents when times get tough. But here is one of the first lesson I have learned on my journey; you can not compare oppressions. If people were to sit and compare oppressions, we would never break free from them. We would always be trying to prove that our life circumstances are worse than others and never break through our glass ceilings. So when I, or anyone you come across in life, speak of certain struggles, listen with an open heart.

Let’s get another thing straight- I am going to talk about Jesus. No, I will not be preaching to you and telling you to get saved; that is certainly not my style or agenda. I am a nondenominational Christian who loves Jesus (that is a juicy topic we will get into later.) I will tell you, however, what Jesus has done for me in my life and the personal relationship I hold with Him. And hey, if you have one too, that’s awesome! If you do not, I won’t judge you. I just hope you will listen with an open heart.

One more thing- I am going to be controversial. I will give you my honest opinion of tough topics. I will be raw with my emotions and feelings. I will respect each and every person and their beliefs and values. Sometimes, I wont even be sure of my opinion quite yet. If your opinion is different, I will listen to yours with an open heart as I wish you do with mine.

Last one, promise! I will not be talking about just me. How boring would that get?! While I will intertwine posts with my life and draw from my experiences, what I really hope is that this will get you thinking and hopefully apply some of my blogs to your life!